


What's A Goblin Like You Doing In Place Like This

by pinkevilbob



Series: The Living and Death [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Prequel, hades au, platonic meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 10:00:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16637804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkevilbob/pseuds/pinkevilbob
Summary: Set in the Living and Death Universe (you don't need to read it to get this though).How the Lord of the Dead ended up getting a goblin as his assistant.





	What's A Goblin Like You Doing In Place Like This

**Author's Note:**

> So ukulele_villian asked how Nott and Caleb met in this world and I started to think about it and then ended up writing this. I hope you all like it.

Nott may have made a mistake. Several mistakes actually. But, most people have. That was a part of life or, in this case, death. Looking back though, trying to steal from the Lord of Death was probably a terrible idea. Probably.

Which was why she was running away from an angry reaper. One of several, but she had managed to lose most of them already. It was the last one she was having trouble with. Nott ducked into a library hoping to be able to hide amongst the shelves. Instead she ran right into someone. 

He was taller than her by a couple of feet(most people were), but he was probably under average height. He was human looking with pale skin and orangish hair. His robes were fine, but he seemed like the sort that someone else chose his clothes or he’d just dress like a hobo probably. The man blinked down at her and then pushed her back deeper into the shelves standing in front of her.

The reaper stopped in front of the man. Nott couldn’t hear what they were saying, but when they were done the reaper went running in the opposite direction. The man turned back to Nott. “Now,” he said in a thick Zemnian accent, “can you tell me what you are doing here?”

“Me? Oh, I’m just looking for a good book. Can you recommend one to me?” she asked.

“I suppose I could.” He looked over the shelves scanning the titles of the books. “That reaper was looking for someone fitting your description. He says they stole from the Lord of the Dead.”

Nott’s eyes widened. The man hid her from the reaper, but maybe he had worst things planned for her. “Really?”

“Ja, but really the Lord of the Dead has too many things anyways. The little thief is welcome to whatever she gets her hands on, I say.”

“The Lord of the Dead wouldn’t say so,” Nott said.

The man gave her an odd look. “He wouldn’t, would he? Not that he’d notice anything missing. Ah, here we are.” He plucked a book off from the shelf. “‘The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Ser Taryon Darrington’. It’s completely fantastical, but it has a recurring theme of people biting off more than they can chew that you may find interesting.”

“Err, thanks?” Nott took the book. “I should be going.”

“Wait. Do you know where you’re going or how to get out of here?”

The underworld was a labyrinth and Nott may have gotten turned around while losing the reapers, but she was not going to admit that to a stranger. So instead she shrugged.

The man chuckled. “I was needing to stretch my legs anyways. I don’t suppose you mind going to the northern exit. It’s closest to the ferryman’s dock.”

“Yes, that’s where I was going to go,” she lied, but she figured that he couldn’t tell because how cool she was playing (this was a lie, she was not playing it cool at all and was sweating buckets)

The man led the way careful to not go too fast for Nott’s short legs. They went silently down the halls avoiding the other occupants. Nott’s companion was dour, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. Luck seemed to be on their side until a purple tiefling crossed their path.

“Now this is an interesting pair.” The tiefling smiled like a cat who got into the cream.

“Leave us be, Mollymauk Tealeaf,” the man huffed.

Mollymauk continued his all too pleased with himself smile. “I am but a humble reaper. I mean neither of you harm.”

The man snorted. “Last week you were telling people you were a god of fortune, the week before that you were a messenger of the platinum dragon, and the week before that a god of feasting.”

“Don’t forget the three days I was a fertility god,” Mollymauk said with a smirk.

The man rolled his eyes. “Why I turn a blind eye to you I’ll never know.”

“Now tell me where you found this little one.” Mollymauk turned to Nott.

“He helped me find a book. He’s a very good librarian,” she said.

Mollymauk somehow managed to smile even wider. “A librarian you say. Oh, this makes for a fascinating tale.”

“What do you mean?” Nott asked.

“He means to tease and confuse you,” the man said before Mollymauk could say anything else. “Now, shouldn’t you be by the river giving poor souls the coin they need to pass while the ferryman pretends not to notice.”

For the first time the tiefling seemed caught off guard. “Who told you about that?”

“I have my ways,” the man said. “We must be going.” He continued on his way without checking to see if Nott was with him. But it was easy for Nott to keep up with him. “Will you tell me what your name is?”

“Nott.”

“You will not?”

She shook her head. “No, that’s my name. Nott.”

“Ah, and mine is Caleb,” he said.

“That’s a nice name.”

Caleb blushed. “Thank you. So, would you mind telling me why you decided to steal from a god in his own domain?”

Nott stopped in her tracks. “Oh yeah, that. Um, would you believe I was framed?”

Caleb just shook his head.

“I didn’t think so.” Nott sighed. “I’ve got this itch. I just sometimes have to go out take something, usually something shiny. And then I died, and it didn’t really go away, so I went to find something.”

“And you somehow ended up choosing something that was the Lord of the Dead’s. Even heroes of legends aren’t so bold.”

Nott ducked her head down. “It was only a button.”

That got a chuckle out of Caleb. “Would like to be my assistant?”

“What?” The question seemed to come out of nowhere.

“My work makes me busy and I need all the help I can get. Would you be willing to help?”

“You want me to be your assistant? But I’m just a thief and a goblin,” Nott said.

Caleb looked down at her. “I don’t see how that would make you a bad assistant. But, it won’t be easy. There’s a lot of work and I will not be an easy boss to work for. But I would like it if you were my assistant.”

“You would?”

“Yes, I would. Though I should tell you that I’m in charge of more than just the library,” Caleb explained. “My authority covers much of the underworld.”

“Does that mean you work for the Lord of Death?” Nott gasped. “You won’t tell him that I stole from him will you?”

Caleb shook his head. “I don’t see any reason why I should. So is it a deal?”

“Will I get paid?”

Caleb bit back a laugh. “We’ll see about that. I don’t really get paid either.”

Nott gave it some thought. She liked Caleb and he seemed to be awfully patient. “Deal, I’ll be your assistant.”

They shook on it.

“Let’s go back to the library,” Caleb said, “There’s some more books that I’d like to show you.”

Butas soon as they turned the corner, they ran into the angry reaper. ”You,” he snarled at Nott seeming to notice only her.

“Ah, I see you’ve met my new assistant,” Caleb said. “Very good.”

The angry reaper jumped back as he noticed Caleb and then looked down at Nott aghast. “Your new assistant? But my lord-”

“Yes?” Caleb said sharply leaving no room for argument.

“Yes, my lord,” the reaper said with resignation.

“Good, now go and have a room prepared for her,” Caleb said. The reaper left quickly muttering under his breath.

Nott tugged on Caleb’s hand. “He called you ’my lord’. Are you important?”

“Well, I am the Lord of the Dead, so yes, I suppose I am important. Does that change your decision?”

That made her paused for a moment. “No, not really, but can I ask you a question?”

“You’ve already asked one, but go on,” Caleb said.

“Does this mean I have to return your button?”

Instead of an answer, Nott got her hair ruffled.


End file.
